Educating Stephen

Educating Stephen Jenny Drake, head teacher at a school for children with special needs, writes on punishment. This settles the matter for me. It’s an empirical question. Many of Jenny’s pupils are autistic, and even less interested in other people than I am. If she doesn’t need corporal punishment to keep order, no one does. I am humbly grateful to my friends for educating me on this subject.

Dear Stephen

Firstly punishment is not a word that I would use in conjunction with children, smacks too much of retribution and generally it only benefits the person doing the punishing.

Children need to be inculcated into the structure and rules of society but punishing them never works, be it physical or emotional. Over the years I have had direct experience of the damage it can cause.

Children need love, consistency and clarity and all will be well. They may also require at times sanctions as in if you do this then this will happen but the consequences must be made very clear to them.

A long time ago I wrote an article about children in control ie taking responsibility for their behaviour. If adults continue to punish and retain control then moral development is slow and can become non-existent.

I firmly believe in the rights of children from an early age to take as much control of their life as they can. What happens when the person with the big stick isn’t there anymore? What if I hit my child and s/he doesn’t behave, do I hit harder next time?

In essence this is a discussion going nowhere because of the use of the word punishment. Think outside the box and come up with a more intelligent approach to bringing up children.

I have never hit or intimidated a child in my life, I have too much respect for them. As a teacher I never and still don’t have any problems with discipline. Something must be working and it’s not punishment.

Best regards

Jenny