in memory of Christiane Cassel, d. 1979
Nobody ever wants death: it is an end to wanting; nothing more to hold. On the dark floor nothing will be satisfied. Nobody wants death I thought but you did and you got it secretly settling your affairs from the ward. Then cunning and deceit obtained your last release. On the dark floor everything has been resolved. Nothing was resolved. This is where ghosts come from and you haunt me. Living, I stay where you wouldn’t: on the dark floor, wrestling turgid air. Everyone wants death profoundly needing their release from hurt and all the wanting: the dark floor takes it all. The heart longs to give it, longs for the life beyond death no wrestling on the floor, itself released and with it everything in place, unconquered.